FOREVER A STUDENT

What an experience having a fieldwork with one of the world famous geologist with expertise in structure and metamorphism. First day of my field work was okay. It was nice and suck at the same time surrounded by geniuses from Utrech University. During the fieldwork I used my 1000% of my knowledge that I have learned in the past four years to interpret all types of geological aspects in every outcrop we visited. Well, from what I have interpreted and those geniuses have interpreted, I can clearly see that the knowledge that we have was actually so much different. I could only act like a fish in a tank, opened my mouth but nothing came out. Those people are used to fieldwork and all kind of geology practical but different from me. During the fieldwork they could apply their knowledge probably up to 90% whereas I could only at maximum 70%. When I asked them why, they said that they are used to it because every year they have 10 weeks of field work and need to make reports. So total of the whole fieldwork from their undergraduate study is 30 weeks (3 years) excluding the final year project. But me during my undergraduate, the total field work was only 4 weeks. It's like kindergarten against university level. So much different. They look so much confident on each interpretation they made.

But so far, this fieldwork has truly improved my knowledge to a whole new level. From beginner to amateur geologist. I've improved my confident level and know how to differentiate structural geology aspects. Last time when I see a rock I would say

"Okay, this is a rock, it is very hard, there are cracks all over it. It has shiny things, probably diamond" Noob mode

Now it will be

"Okay, the bedding of the rock is striking northeast and dipping west 010/28, it is probably quartz mica schist, the shiny thing is mica and the mafic mineral is well foliated, probably due to deformation. There are several faults and show striation and dipping northwest. The riedel shear indicates the movement of the fault and there are also sigmoidal clasts, most likely a synistral, top to southeast" Amateur mode

During the 4th day of my fieldwork. I received a very pleasant news regarding the fieldwork. There was a change of plan. The fieldwork that is supposedly going for 40 days, has been reduced to probably 33 days. This is because I need to accompany a french guy to travel the whole peninsular Malaysia for more or less 2 weeks. I'll be like a tour guide for this guy. FYI this fellow is 2 meters tall while I am only 1.68 meters. It will look awful for me. Because people will see him as being accompanied by some sort of a short ugly creature. Besides, during this fieldwork, my skin tone has turned from "normal" to "you can't see me". It gets darker as the day passes. I'm already as black as I can be. This is probably the blackest skin tone that I have ever experienced so far as a geologist. I probably have reached 100% of my demonic true form.

These two European people are the people I'm going to work with in the next 20 days. The guy in dark green t-shirt is the 2 meters french guy and the one in squared-shirt is from Netherland (1.94m) which will be working with my co-worker in brown t-shirt. Both of us will go separate ways on the 15th and probably will meet up again on the 21th. I don't usually upload my picture, when I do, I look like ****.

So I will have a break for 2 days from 16th-17th and after that the journey is begun. The other 5 days have not been confirmed yet, but most probably will happen on the first week of April before I'm finally off to Sarawak. After this field work is over, I have probably a month before the next field work again to Sarawak for probably one week. In the mean time I will try to get married driving license, since I need to use a car to travel from one place to another for my master's fieldwork. I can drive but I don't have a license, I hope I can get one within a month.

I just had one the most terrible experience in the history of geological fieldwork. This had happened to me once in my second year and never thought would be repeated today (13th march). Yup, I've been food-poisoned. It was truly awful. I stayed in the van for the whole day because of this. My stomach was twitching(not sure about the word) so bad I could not even turn my body. But luckily because of the excellent medical treatment(drinking 100 plus)I have survived this and can carry on my life. But now my body is very weak because I've been going back and forth to the toilet for 8 times, I've lost so much liquid and can't even walk properly. The photo was taken after I had this thingy. My co-worker and the french guy also got the same thing, but theirs were not as bad as mine.

A few days back I chatted with an old friend, which I thought I was never gonna see or even talk again. I didn't even know how this fellow got my number, suddenly just said "hey" in wasapp. Nothing was serious about the talk. Just a normal conversation with some reminiscence about the past and it was awesome. This fellow is in the final year and then asked me what I'm doing now. So I said that I'm going to further my study. Then this fellow started compliment me saying that I'm smart and I can do anything, my future is bright, my life is perfect and all that kind of things, unlike herself. Well, I just said that I'm lucky and I was serious about this, but this fellow kept denying what I said so I just replied with "hahaha"(that was the best thing I could do to stop her). I seriously do not know how to handle compliment. The best thing I can do is only smile. Last time there was a moment after I performed in one occasion, I got off the stage and out from the hall, suddenly there was a chinese girl appeared infront of me said (I remember this clearly)

"Wow, you were very good up there(1). You are very handsome, you know?(2)"

After that she smiled and stood still infront of me. The first statement I could still handle. But the moment I heard the second one, I just stood, thinking back of what I just heard and looked at the girl like I was retarded. I have never expected such a thing to happen. Then there was quite a moment of silent and it was kinda awkward. She seemed to be waiting for my reply. I did not know what to do so I just smiled back and moved away from her to my friends(true story). Not sure what will be my reaction if it happens now. I'll probably start laughing and pinching my self to death, hoping that I'm just dreaming. This happened when I was in my third year of my University and still handsome, not like now. I'm not saying I do not appreciate them, but if they really see me and know the actual me, I do not deserve such compliment.

I can say that my life is not perfect and I'm not smart. Compare to my friends, I probably have the lowest mark and that's why I consider myself lucky that I can stand until today. I'm not good in scoring for high marks, as long as I have done my best that's enough, the world will somehow repay me in some kind of ways. I see people including my friends are afraid to get low marks, so what they did was copied from someone who has gotten high marks or even cheating. They do not really care they understand or not as long as they get high marks it is fine for them. Well I'm scared to get low marks, but if I have to choose, I truy prefer to get low marks but do it my self than the other way around. At least I know about the mistake I've made and try to improve next time.

I have failed so many times but I just keep going and do my best, even until today. I don't really consider my failures as points of where I should stop doing. It is the failure that can actually teach me the most important thing. It really drives me crazy everytime I fail on things that I have worked so hard. But then I tell myself that everything does not always go according to the plan so need to be patient and move forward. From 100 of my plans, there are probably less than 10 that truly came true. The rest just failed or simply haven't shown up any results. Simply do your best in everything and let the world decides the best for you. I have never thought I could travel now and meet great people, because my plan of traveling is supposed to be after I get a job, get a wife and settle my life. But now I'm already traveling, although not so far and not for traveling purposes, But still I am able to travel and see things I have never seen before and get paid eventhough not so much, but the experience that matters. Be flexible, don't stick in only one thing. Don't try to be someone, coz it wont always work. I might be not as lucky as those people who have traveled the world, participated in big events or have become superstars. But everything that has happened to me is actually more than enough, knowing that there are a lot of people who's having more problems and difficulties in life.

I've been taught to be fair in life, don't only focus on what you are doing, look around and see what can you do for others. Don't focus only on your friends, but focus more on your family. Coz it is actually the perfect turning back place for every problem you have. So no one has a perfect life but you can still perfect the life you have now. Don't forget to say Alhamdulillah.

Funny saying "Your dreams are like dandelion, beautiful, but gone as the wind blows them away"

IT HAS BEGUN

Life has never been easy for all human kind. If it is easy that means you are doing it wrong same like maths, you must have had sacrificed something that should not be sacrificed such us family, friends and other people's life that are not supposed to be sacrificed/bothered. Because the only thing that needs to be sacrificed is everything in you (including time and energy). Help from family or friends do really make things easier but still your part needs to be the hardest.

I've got things settled for my RA recently and I'm officially employed. So a couple of days back I talked to my RA supervisor. I asked about things that I shall do for my first day of being employed here. But then he said that I should ask my Postgraduate/master supervisor. FYI, my master supervisor and RA supervisor are different person. But normally they should be the same person. I mean People usually do master under supervision of either Dr. or Professor and employed as RA under the same person as the master supervisor. But my case is I'm doing master and RA under 2 different persons. Technically, it will be a very difficult task for me since I need to handle two things at the same time. But according to what my RA supervisor said, I should follow what my master supervisor commands me to do.

My mind exploded after I heard what my RA supervisor said. I made him to explain twice for me just to get everything clear coz I thought he could probably said something that he thought was right, and yes he was right, nothing was tricky and I have normal hearing. It was just my imagination that thought my RA supervisor said something confusing. So for me it's like being employed by one company but I need to work for another company. I asked my master supervisor a week ago he said that we'll be going for field work on the first week of April and in the mean time we just need to study the previous studies regarding the area. So here I assume that I don't have to do anything(work).

But a few days back I've been contacted by the HRD saying that there was problem regarding my visa. The visa I'm using now prohibits me from being employed by any kind of employments. That means I need to cancel my old visa and change it to the employment visa. But for it to happen, it will take around one and a half months and in the mean time I wont receive my salary and depend solely on my savings. Moreover I have a field work to Sarawak on the first week of April. So with all these limited time, money, friends, energy and internet connection to get done with everything, it is so perfect for me to become famous. You know I will probably just get on an aeroplane and jump off and on the next day you'll find me in newspaper, but life must go on as what Celine Dion said "my heart life will go on and on".

I have thought of several solutions with several alternatives, and each one has pros and cons. So now it is only a matter of time for me to decide which one is the best.

Today I got probably one of the most horrifying news regarding my RA that I have ever received in this year. Ofcourse I just started the RA a few weeks ago. So once I got to my department my co-worker told me that we will have fieldwork for 40 days from 5th of March to 15 or April.

"40 DAYS OF FIELDWORK"

The moment I received this news I was like

"NO!NO!NO! This isn't true? What is this? is this a joke? seriously? I must be dreaming"

Then I asked him again and he said positive 100% yes. I don't know I should be happy or sad. I love field work but 40 days, it is like I don't know how to put it in words. I mean I just started my RA a month ago and then suddenly "poof" 40 days field work. This is madness. Besides I haven't even received my salary yet. So I need to use my own money then. How am I going to survive after the fieldwork? How am I going to live and carry on my own life? What about my family and children?(nope I don't have them yet).

Moreover my friend told me that I should read about micro-structural geology. Because last time he got brutally questioned by the lecturer and he could not answer properly. This is why my RA is going to be a double-edged sword for me. My master is sedimentology and RA now is structural geology. The last time I touched my structural geology notes was when the time I was still a nuisance student around 2 years back. Plus this field work has professor, Dr. and several master students from Utrech university. I guess I'll be mentally abused by them in the next 40 days. I don't even know why/how did I write on this blog now where I am supposed to study.

I'll be busy in the next 40 days but the writing must go on.

Funny sayings "Many species are in danger and getting extinct, including 'human being'"

THE BEGINNING IS NEAR

It has been one whole of a great week. I have started my RA thingy eventhough I just helped my friends since I'm not officially RA yet, But I've got the offer letter already and just need to get a few things done before I'm officially employed.

Another one of the best memory for this week happened on the weekend and it because I played "paintball" for the first time. For those who doesn't know what paintball is, it is a game where you used a modified air gun (not like nerf)and it shoots paint bullets inside a plastic-liked cover. It was absolutely painful when you get hit by the bullets. I have got hit several times and they left marks. The most painful was when it hit my thighs. It was like being stung by bee, but didn't feel any burn after that and it still hurts until now.

The place where I played the game was not like the normal paintball field. Normally, people play paintball in the open field arena where it is the size of probably half to three-quarter of football field and there are giant air bags as shield or place to hide and take cover. But the arena I played was kinda natural arena, it's like garden but more to like used garden like in the movie "Rambo" or like one of the Chuck Norris's movies where he fought in Vietnam if I'm not mistaken. Here you have banana trees, piles of planks and tires as cover instead and it looked completely like a real battlefield for me. The arena was not so big probably about one-third of football field but it sucked all my energy running inside it. Moreover, I thought the gun was light since I've seen someone playing paintball in TV could run and aim so easily, but I didn't really know that the gun was actually that heavy (probably around 2-3 kg). I mean the gun itself was not heavy but it was the air tank that made it like carrying a laptop in a war. Besides, I wore a mask and it was hard to breathe while I was running and under pressure. The jacket also disturbed my movement since it was quite stiff, so it limited my movement.



The first picture is the normal paintball arena, the bottom one is the arena where I played. The guy inside the picture is not me. But he is one of the MVP player.

The game was great, my friends and I played four-by-four on each side and played 5 games with a break between games or someone has no more bullets or needed to add more air into the tank. Each game has 2 rounds, meaning you have to collect two points by winning 2 rounds. Each game has it's own mission and the whole games took like 2 hours. My team was kinda expert eventhough we are just starters and the other team has an experienced player, so it was kinda hard to decide which team was going to prevail.



The picture above was taken before we play the game. The aftermath picture can't be shown due to the maturity content and disturbing images such us broken bones, blood, lots of blood and wounded people. I look a bit stuffed there, but that is not actually like what it seems to be (second from the right). Eventhough I've gained some weight (8 kg) during the hiatus from 65 to 73 kg, My body is not really that big because it is the jacket that make it look like I'm fat. Besides I do have chubby face, even when my weight was 60 kg (excuses but true).

The atmosphere of the arena was pretty intense even before the marshal started the game. I felt nervous since I've never hold a gun after I completed my primary school. I mean I was once a guy who was one of the fearsome kids when it comes to this shooting games. It was not because of my skill but it was because of the gun that I used was somehow had a great shooting power. It could reach up to 50-80 meters. They used to call me "The Sniper", my best shot was 30m head shot(because the gun was heavy, hard to hold). So back in the day (primary 2 or 3), around my neighborhood, my friends and I used to play this shooting game using the air gun(not paintball gun) with a plastic bullets or we called it pellets(not sure the spelling is correct or not). We played it like almost everyday after the school has ended. So we gathered in front of my house and decided the teams. It was like playing hide and seek where one team is hiding and the other team is seeking. But this time we used air gun and need to finish the game by shooting the other team and see which of the team members stand the last. But after a few years later those guns were banned, but then my friends created something more extreme. They used candy/sweets cover bag and tied with rubber bands on both ends. It's like sling shots but we used our two fingers instead of tree branches. And you know what, we used stones as bullets. yes, stones. Probably half centimeter in diameter. Those stones would absolutely leave some marks if you get shot. And after the end of the game, we all always looked like we just had measles or chicken pox, I'm not sure which one is more suitable for such a mark but it's either one of them.

Back to the story

So before the game was started each team needed to go to their bases and then the marshal asked us to get in position. The moment the siren was on, my heart beat faster, my breathing rate increased and I directly run behind one of the covers and I said.

"Dayum, What am I doing here? I've retired from this and this is not my stuff anymore. I wanna go home. safe me god!!!"

It was seriously a terrifying situation I can say, but still better than being chased by a dog. I saw my team members were running towards the enemy base, they took several shots and took cover behind tires and trees. Seeing them made me like I was a complete coward, I wanted to help them but too scared to get shot, so I need to man-up and think that it is for the future of my team, I wont let them down. Then, I took a deep breathe, gained some courage and a few seconds later, I stood up, looked around for any target and once I saw someone I just started shooting. I shot whoever I thought was my enemy. Then, I hit one target and immediately took cover and then the marshal said GG (meaning the game is finished). It wasn't so bad ,my team won the first round and nobody in my team got shot. I was pretty impressed by my team's performance, they did well except for me. Honestly, it felt like a minute in that game with all hiding and shooting, but it was actually took 5-7 minutes to finish that round (not sure which one took me longer, hiding or shooting). My energy was depleted as the game ended. I literally showered in my own sweat.

According to the first game's result, we all can see which team was going to be the winner. Yes, it was the other team who won the overall games. My team only won the first game and lost the rest of the games (I think we were lucky that time). I didn't really know why, I mean I have totally man-up on the rest of the games. But you know, who cares about the results. The most important thing is we all had fun and we all did.

Becareful of what you're about to read, it is all just come from my assumption, nothing is real.

There was a rumor saying that the inventor of flappy bird is dead in suicide. But before that I've heard that he would delete his masterpiece for good. But the day I heard the news and the day he said that he's going to remove his game is the same. So it's kinda like one of the Frankenstein movies where Frankenstein created a monster by combining human parts from several corpses and after a few weeks the guy died besides the monster (I don't remember the name of the movie). The monster killed several people and created chaos around the town, same goes with flappy bird but it didn't kill people (Im not sure). At the end of the movie the monster run from the town and stayed under the iced cave carrying his dead creator. So here, I assume that the creator of flappy birds has the game in his phone(coz he was the creator) so the story is kinda repeated in some kind of different ways.

BUT, before he died, he had brought down his legacy to the world, because It seems like there are games following the same format as "Flappy Bird" one of them is called "IRON PANTS". This game is more crazy than Flappy birds. The inventors did really put so much effort to make the game ten times harder and ten times larger in size than flappy bird. I believe that he is one of the apprentices of the flappy bird's inventor. He has the blue print of flappy bird typed of game. I played the game for ten minutes, the best score I got was only 4. The game is pure evil. You can't even blink when you're playing the game. Because once you blink, it's GG. You really need to play this game in a remote, isolated and quiet place, where there is no disruption.

I don't know why but somehow It is easy to get new friends as well as lost some friends at the same time nowadays.

HOW??

Easy. Like and comment on your friend's status or photos and you will become best friend forever or don't do anything on your friend's photos or status and you will become enemies or at least your relationship is loosened. About the past 5 years of my observation, I see that people love to communicate via apps or any chat services(text messages mostly) on their gadgets. They tell all their stories by just simply texting without knowing that the person on the other side is paying attention or just simply replying according to the situation(well, I did some when I'm busy). It's good to strengthen the relationship, but sometimes it becomes a bit weird. Because last time, I was chatting with one of my friends via "watsup". We chatted for quite a while (around 2 hours), we laughed and shared opinion, even there was a little debate I can say.

Here is the funny part.

A couple of days later, when I had my lunch, this person just sat beside me and we started talking about stuffs. After a while he suddenly talked about the thing we chatted a few days ago and somehow I talked back the way I did it a few days back. We did exactly the same as in the chat(all discussion, opinion, even debate), but this time didn't take a long time. Then after the conversation was over, I started thinking of why did I repeat the same thing. So I just simply forget it coz it probably just a coincidence (true story). But the thing is it happens almost everytime. So I was like, why did I talk to someone when we both know how this is going and how it is gonna end. I mean, it is just simply a waste of time. If you want to make sure a certain point then it's okay but here I did exactly the same as when I had the conversation via message/texting (Have we all experienced this?or It is just me). So I don't really know whether I'm a retard or just simply don't use my mind. Because there are a lot of other things that we can talk about instead of repeating the same stuff.

The worst is I think people prefer to chat/communicate via apps even when they are in some reunions with friends. So during that reunion all we do is just "texting with friends" or "congregation texting". I mean last time, during my stone age, when we were gathering for some occasions we only talked among us. We completely forgot and ignored anything and only interested in what was there. So each of us focused on someone who was talking or telling stories. Sometimes things I can say get better when we started to debate on something which was not actually matter. But it was somehow and somewhat just simply beautiful(you know the intensity of the situation) and somehow we wanted more. But now all these apps in gadgets have disrupted this harmony. I'm not saying gadget is bad. But it is the timing of using it sometimes just don't really come in the right time and place. I mean I am honestly annoyed when I'm talking to someone and suddenly that person gets a message and start replying all the way during the conversation, with a smile while replying. If it is from parents or something truly important than I can tolerate that. But if it just a regular "hi", I believe the person on the other side can wait for the reply. If the stories is not interesting then at least listen, don't just simply put your mind away and start chatting/texting to the person who is not even there. I don't want all of your time but respect is what I expect. DON'T YOU??

I realised that I have received some comments on my previous posts saying that I should have put pictures in my blog. I didn't know someone read my blog and I am grateful for that (crying with tears of happiness) . Well, this time I did but maybe did not really do it well cos I'm too lazy tired to edit and since the new system of blogging now is different than 2 years ago, so need to learn more all about the positioning and stuffs. BTW thx for the constructive comments.

Funny sayings "Everything is happened for a reason, but sometimes the reason is because you are retarded"

NEW THINGS

Well, well, well it's been a while since the last post. Recently, I've been practicing ad*be after effect, it is a software for editing images and movies and can also add effects. Im doing it for fun coz I have nothing to do (still waiting for RA and master thingy) and I love editing and put some effects in pictures or movies with something cool, like adding lightning or energy ball or maybe teleportation and duplication of things in a movie. I know it is kinda childish, but I just like doing it. Im not a pro yet in this field and if there are levels from beginner to expert maybe I am in the level of baby, where I couldn't really remember all steps to create one effect eventhough I just created it a second ago. I think my short-termed memory is kinda bad. coz I'm pretty expert to forget things I just saw, heard, read or did.

Sometimes it gets rude when comes to meet new people. You know when others introduce their names, I can easily forget names in a blink of an eye and to cover that, I pretend I did not hear the first time they mentioned it. But it is different when it comes to something important. I mean like somehow and somewhat my brain can decide (this is true) whether a particular thing is important in the future or not, like names, phone numbers or car's plates. If it is important I can easily remember in a split second and without even trying to remember it. I can just simply say it or look at it and can somehow absorb and keep it in my mind, but if the other way around, I will forget at the moment I get it. The worst is sometimes my brain decides to forget stuffs during exams.

Nowadays, people have been posting something in 9ga* or even f*cebook about a game. A game that is believed to be created by the devil himself. A game that has caused chaos around the world, with many casualties and people have gone missing due to this game. I was shocked having heard about the effect of the game. Because of this game, some said that they don't want to live in this world anymore, some said that the game is a cursed and some said that if you can complete the game (which is impossible) you can achieve anything in this world and will be given a reward as the toughest, the most patient and the most anything a gamer or normal person can ever achieve.

So after hearing all this, as a noob gamer, I really wanted to see how hard can this game be. So I downloaded it. The first time I saw the size of this game I was shocked, speechless and stunned. How could you not feel this, when you realise that the game which has created such a chaos is only less than 1MB size. I was like "ok, I can do this, it's probably like any other games". So I played it for like 15 minutes, aiming to score at least 100 but these are what happened.

0-3 mins trial: "Ok, relax, this is the first time, need to get used to controlling and timing, I can do this"

3-6 mins trial: "Damn, I almost got 5. Next time will be better"

6-9mins trial: "Yes, finally I got 7, a bit more playing will get me to higher score"

9-11mins trial: "Oh thank you God, I made to 13. what a game"

11-14mins trial: "why,why,why!!! why can't I get more than 10 now. AARRRGGHHH!!"

14-15mins trial: "Screw this game. Why did I download it in the first place"

last trial: "Ok that's it. GG"

That's summarized everything that had happened. I punched the wall 5 times and kicked the wall 6 times and threw my phone on my bed after playing this. Thank God no casualties. I still have the game in my phone just in case I want to play it again and test my perseverance. Oh ya by the way, the name of the game is "FLAPPY BIRD". It is downloadable in android or I-phone I think. enjoy the game and may the force be with you.

ps. Play safe and play the game in a place where there are no hard parts. Try to cover every inch of the place you play the game at with soft materials like cloths or styrofoam. Stay in that room every time you play the game and make sure no one's around to avoid more casualties. Don't play the game outside or you will lose or break your gadgets.

A few days back I visited several other blogs, including those in my friend list and I have realised that there are several different things about my blog than other people's blogs. These differences really caught my attention so much. Most of them, no, all of them have pictures in their blogs and also they posted about their achievements. Well I did the same, but the kind I posted them are different, mines are not really formal I can say and have no pictures with 100 percent words (I mean the new posts). For those who posted about information regarding stuffs I don't really mind and I understand why, since they want to make everything clear.

Ofcourse their blogs look amazing, I envy them all. But do they know that when they post a picture of themselves, and they delete it for some reasons, it is still in the internet? I mean the picture is not totally gone?

How do I know that?

Well, someone told me(this guy is expert in computer stuffs), when you enter a website and if you realise in the beginning of the address there is a word "https". This someone told me if the word "https" is slashed or when the letter "s" is missing (http) means that the website is not safe. from what this someone said, it might contain viruses and stuffs related to it, or the website contains or offers something that may allow them/anyone to use all information (including words, sentences, even pictures) the users put into it. The best part is they can use any information and manipulate/exploit them to whatever they like. If one day we find our pictures spread out in the internet doing things we did not do, or our pictures have been edited into something weird, we as users can't sue them, since it is stated in the terms and conditions, and we just checked/ticked the "agree" thingy since we were too lazy to read (same goes to me).

To make sure go check on goo*le and type your name. You will see your blog pictures are there and probably mixed with bunch of other pictures that have the same name or similar title or anything related to your name or email address. Now delete one of the pictures that you have posted in blog and try to check again in goo*le. It probably goes the same way with f*cebook

I just do not want this to happen. I mean like it's not that I am fat and ugly being insecure, but precaution is better than cure. In this case is before someone does something bad. If words maybe less matter since they are opinions. Ambiguity in sentences can be clarified by asking that particular person about what the sentences are actually meant. But pictures, this is serious in modern day. There are millions of people who can easily edit whatever pictures using several different softwares. Some of them are really good, coz the result looks real. I just do not want when one day someone told me that there is, nope, are weird pictures of me(probably naked) all over the internet. Can you imagine how many people could have been blinded after seeing them. The last time I showed my picture (dressed) to my friends, they were all showed a disgust-faced (you know your face when seeing something ugly or disgusting). That one I was dressed, what if naked? probably worst than cutting onions. Those pictures will probably melt your eyes.

Here I posted a link and is from my high school friend. check this out if you're muslim or probably interested in Islam. All are good videos here teach us to become a better muslim or better person at least. it is in malay not english. http://cocombee.com/

Funny sayings "no one is born to be a loser, but not in this world, deal with it"

REASONS OF ALL REASONS

Well here is me again. welcome to my new blog with new stories and experience being shared here.

As you all readers can see, I have changed my blog name from "drugstore" to "A.L.I.E.N"

People must wonder why I changed it. Before I tell you the reason behind this, you all must also have been wondering why my previous blog name is "drugstore". Why is that the word drug there?? and whats up with the store, It's not like Im selling or giving information on drugs or anything. Why didnt I give something fancy, like "diary" or "stories" or maybe "Galiologist"(this one kinda cool). Well as what people said everything has its own reason, so do I. I don't know whether I have told you this in my previous posts but here is the true reason.

So it is all started 5 years ago. In one beautiful morning I was bored and remembered that someone asked me to create a blog. So I just made one. But then the problem came a rise. What should I name my blog. FYI I am the type of a person who is absolutely talent-less in giving a name or anything random. Coz everything that I do must have at least a reason, can be stupid or good. But there has to be a reason. So then questions came into my head.

"What do I do with the blog?"
"What should I write here?"
"What will people say about me later on?"

I did a pretty long and serious thinking about this (around 20 seconds) and I said in my head

"Okay, this blog is going to be all things that happen in my life good and bad. People have their own stories so here is mine"

Suddenly, out of nowhere the word "drug" just popped out in my head and thought that it would be good for my blog name. Then another questions arose.

"what if people ask me about the meaning behind my blog name. what reason shall I give them."

Then here was where my brain started to work. So basically what my brain did tell me was since the blog is going to be filled with all things that will happen to me, it is going to be my new space to spit out everything in my head which which makes me feel relieve and I think has the same meaning as medicine or cure. But since my life can be good or bad so the word drug is better than medicine since drug also can either be good or bad. But after I got the reason I have another problem, that it is to short. So I just simply put "store" at the end of it. The word "store" here is not like "shop" but more to like "put". So yeah I guess that is it.

Ok now lets off to the reason why I did change my blog name.

This time the idea came to me around 3 days ago.

One night when I was about to sleep, as a daily routine I always think about many things that are happening in our world. I have been doing it since I can't remember when and as far as I realize one day is different than another and is normally random. But this one night was somehow I thought about human. As far as I know that we are here in this earth for a reason. Naturally for good reasons but surroundings, ego and lack of education somehow make us go the opposite way. We are here to manage the earth into a place where everyone can live comfortably and peacefully. There are cause and effect rules which we have to follow, so knowledge is required in order to discover new thing including reducing the bad effect and increasing the good effect. That is the job for human, and goes for me too. So we need to discover more about the place we live in now and there are places where human have not reached there yet. The point is we will eventually get to the place, where it is strange to us and the place and environment itself also feels the same way with the presence of us. By the time we get there, we can either destroy it or take care of it and try to learn from it.

From my point of view, the way I see human is like traveler, we like to go to places where we have never seen before and get advantages from it and advantage can be anything. So from that I got an idea to change my blog name since I have started to write again. At first I wanted to put something like "traveler" or "wanderer" but those names are too general and I wanted something that really can express our nature and habit as human being. We have the capability to destroy or build. Then again my brain started to function and the word "alien" just popped out. Somehow I think again it really suits us well since like we all have seen in movies aliens come to earth mostly to destroy us and only some that take care and learn from us. So I guess from there I got the idea. Im not saying that my blog will be filled with full scientific discovery, but instead by anything that have been discovered by me. The dots between each letter just for decoration and to make it looks longer.

I recently just had a reunion with my old friends from my high school. Why did I say old is because I did not really see them for like 4 years even though we are living in the same city due my uni schedule did not really give me free time to see them and sometimes it is the opposite, when I have the time they don't. I feel grateful for that, since I did not realise that I still have lots of friends out there that I have completely lost contact with and we could still talk like usual when we met yesterday. Just simply wonderful.

There is a saying that "your mind is like a parachute, it works best when it is opened".

That is true but there was one night where I have a thought about this saying. I am not sure that it is just me being close or simple minded or probably other have ever had this thought as well. It is sure that if you have open minded you can see things or problems from different points of view and get a way to solve them. I am not sure whether it has anything to do with our intelligent. As we know a parachute does have strings that are attached to the bag so when it is opened the strings give it stability to support us to control air as we fall. But, we also know that mind is abstract and has no support. The only thing that can support our mind is our beliefs or rules that we trust and it acts as strings or support which represent the string of parachute. If we have this support (beliefs or rules), can we say that we are being closed or simple minded? Because if mind really works like parachute, means that it needs support, coz when parachute is too opened(you know parachutes have like dome shaped when opened so absent in strings it loses the dome shaped), instead of saving us from falling it will only kill us abit longer than having no parachute. So I guess mind works the same way as it needs supports. But now the question is how open can our mind be.

Well I am a little bit confused about this mind thingy. Here is a short story.

A few weeks back there was a campaign where people are giving free contraception thingy (you know what I mean) during the AIDS day. They said they did this to prevent the virus from spreading out. I had a little conversation with several friends. I asked them about this campaign and whether the way to prevent it is suitable or not. The results are some agree, some disagree(including me), some just dont care about this.

Here are reasons what people said

Those who agree "It's good because it provides safe intimacy/adultery", "Some people can not afford for marriage yet so giving free *thingy will atleast solve the lust with their partner", "some people are addicted to it and simply cannot stop so it is a good programme"

Those who disagree "it's just simply supporting free adultery", "It wont stop the virus from spreading out but will only slow down, not very effective", "This campaign might be interpreted differently by children if they are not properly educated by parents"

But from my point of view this just means they support people to do free intimacy or adultery. Well for me rather than giving free of those *things which will only reduce the possibility, it is better to educate our society properly. I know it is not easy and there are some people addicted to it but it does not mean that they cannot stop. There are ways to solve this problem such us marriage. I believe there are therapies for people who are addicted to it. Just like those who are addicted to drugs.

Funny sayings "everyone has a purpose and role in life, perhaps yours is watching yo*tube"

GUESS WHO'S BACK!!!!!!!!

Yup here I am, filling this blank blog again. After sooooo long being absent from this cyber world.

You all must be wondering about my return. I give you a hint. Have you all watched batman returns? I guess you have. The reason is the same.

exactly, you are absolutely correct, I have nothing to do nowadays, actually I have, preparing my master proposal and waiting for the research assistant approval letter. I waited for like forever since December til today actually. Btw happy new year to all.

Just want to continue telling the world what/how/why my life is.

From the last post, if im not mistaken it was before the start of the 4th semester. Well things went pretty well actually in my 4th semester, like my grades, social life, finance. I started my fieldwork training on the 4th and 5th semester. What I learnt from that was actually much more useful and easier to understand than study the whole 3 previous semester. I mean like things get pretty easy when you have it in your hand rather than in your imagination. All terms that I have forgotten from my previous lecturers have suddenly come back and since I saw/felt/tasted what the terms are actually meant, I understood them even more. feels like the life after you just free the burden in the toilet. its like you have been given a second chance to live. Suddenly you feel the word "YOLO" does not even exist anymore. superb. I have also touched/hold/smelled/rubbed 15 kg of pure gold.

I repeat 15 KG OF PURE GOLD!!!!!!!

Can you imagine that, this nuisance boy like me could touch that kind of expensive material. If you dont believe me look at my previous FB PP. You can see there is a very happy, cute, handsome guy holding 15kg bar of gold. When I was holding that gold bar, I felt like the richest guy in that room, even for a couple of seconds.*what a wonderful feeling.

As some of people in this world know that music is part of my life. Again my team was trusted to present for my college and took part in one of the most prestige event in the uni. That time we got third place. well Im proud actually since we only practice for 2 weeks. Besides that time my team had different members than the previous one. I believed we didnt really strongly bonded that time, so the music we produced didnt really come from our heart.

My final year was not very good, disappointing actually since my grade dropped on the first semester of my final year. I did not really know why. I studied the same way as the previous semester and believed I did the exam well. even I have less credits, supposedly I could grade-up but things went the opposite way. My FYP did not really brought so much problems since I got and settled everything according to the plan. But why/how/what made my grade went down. I was shocked when the time I received my report card. I could not believe my self what I saw that day and things get worst when some friends suggested me korean movies.

Every night I watched one korean movie and cried every time the movie ended. Most of them have bad endings, I dont really know why must one of the couple dies, its like the korean producer does not really like to see the audience smile. Why dont they put the one that dies is someone that is not really in the movie story, like maybe the person who's just passing by, or maybe the maid, or the security guard, atleast not the main lovers. Coz, Its just too sad seeing it ends like that. You know sometimes I wonder, that probably, the movie is based on the producers life story. maybe, who knows. Back on my uni life. So to overcome that I reduced the time I go online, even I cut my social life abit and stop several routine activities in my second semester. I turned out better and I get fatter(is that even a word), but still the result was below my target but I tried my best. I failed to grad as A's student.

Well FYI I just graduated from my undergrad 3 months ago, I felt absolutely nothing during the day of what people called "convocation". I didn't really get it why everybody was so happy that day (ofcourse there were other guys who looked worst than me, i mean their face expressions, must be the nerd type), I mean like everyone who enters university will eventually graduate right, Im not saying that Im not grateful, but it just you know, the real life starts after that and it is worst than the uni life.

I changed the template or layout. The old one kinda lame.

Friend said "Success is moving on from failure" * kinda true.

Funny sayings "Don't be deeply sad of one failure, you still have plenty ahead"

The Last Post

Gak terasa ternyata liburan yang gw sangka bakal ngebosenin(secara dirumah doank dan sedikit jalan2) ternyata justru malah seru dan penuh dengan pelajaran yang bisa mengubah diri gw yang super kuper ini menjadi kuper aja..yup i suck in socializing and to be socialized with people though they're my friends.grrr

Pelajaran yang paling berharga gw dapet pas kebetulan denger ceramahnya Aa gym yang dengan gak sengaja suaranya kedengeran ditipi pas lagi gonta ganti cenel. jadi inti dari ceramahnya itu..

"hidup sederhana dan kalo beli barang taruh pada tempatnya"

Gw takjub pas dengerin ceramahnya aagym pas dia bilang kalo beli barang taruh pada tempatnya, secara ya emang kalo beli barang harus ditaruh ditempatnya. Tapi yang dimaksud taruh pada tempatnya disini tuh contohnya kalo beli sepatu yang tempatnya di kaki, dan hanya dikaki, bukan di hati. Tapi orang2 sekarang(kadang2 gw juga) kalo beli barang (contohnya sepatu) tarohnya di 2 tempat,yaitu di kaki dan hati. Kalo udah begini biasanya bakal nyiksa diri sendiri.

Kenapa????

karena kalo pas kita pake dan temen2 yang laen sepatunya lebih butut kita berasa tinggi hati, kalo ada yang pake lebih bagus, kita jadi iri hati, kalo kecolongan ato rusak kita jadi sakit hati. Coba kalo gak usah ditaroh dihati pasti gak bakal kerepotan untuk ngurusin hal2 yang bikin hati terusik. Bukan berarti jadi gak peduli sama barang kita sendiri(rada aneh bahasanya), tapi jangan sampe barang2 kita menjadi penghambat ato masalah kepada diri kita sendiri.

Gw pun termasuk orang yang sayang sama barang gw sendiri,maksudya sayang bukan berarti sama kayak sayang ke ortu ato pacar, tapi maksudnya gw tuh jaga barang2 yang gw minta baek2. Emang beberapa barang gw ada yang kecolongan ato rusak, tapi ya itu emang udah nasip tuh barang, dan rezeki buat tukang yang buat barang tersebut.

ini sebagai pengingat aja sebenernya bwt diri gw yang sering lupa akan keindahan hidup sederhana dan bersahaja ini.

HOT NEWS

Tanpa disangka ternyata ortu gw telah berencana bwt balik ke indo selama 7 hari bwt jalan2 sekaligus mengurus urusanya disana, dan nyokap gw mengajak gw untuk menjadi bodyguardnya dan dengan bangga gw setujui permintaan beliau. gw udah nyiapin bejibun rencana yang mudah2an bisa terlaksana.

Its been a while since then...

Itulah kata2 yang tengah bermain dalam kepala manusia ini. Sebenrnya gw juga kgk ngrti artinya apaan.hehehe.(-,-)

Btw lebaran gw yang sekaran bakal insyaAllah gw rayain di negegara tercinta. Terakhir gw lebaran di indo kira2 tahun 2004..kalo diitung2 kira2 udah satu abad gw gak lebaran di indo.

Have you ever experienced a "twice a year chat"????

Kalo gw bilang gw sedang mengalami peristiwa kyk gitu. dimana chat bersama "seseorang" hanya terjadi 2 kali dalam satu tahun dan hanya terjadi pada awal dan akhir tahun, dan jeleknya awal tahun ini udah, brarti gw harus nunggu sampe akhir tahun baru bisa chat lagi. gw cm bs bilang it sucks. secara cuma bs menyejukan hati sebentar tapi harus tersiksa sekian lama. Kadang terpikir buat apa menanti sesuatu yang lama sedangkan yang setiap saat aja ada. Tapi gw adalah manusia biasa yang juga memiliki nafsu dunia.(galau detected)

Btw this is the last post of my blog, i realize that most of da things i posted are actually private stuffs, i prefer to keep them for my self coz thats who i am.hehehhe

So this is the good bye then...

have a nice life

Love you always :D