FOREVER A STUDENT

What an experience having a fieldwork with one of the world famous geologist with expertise in structure and metamorphism. First day of my field work was okay. It was nice and suck at the same time surrounded by geniuses from Utrech University. During the fieldwork I used my 1000% of my knowledge that I have learned in the past four years to interpret all types of geological aspects in every outcrop we visited. Well, from what I have interpreted and those geniuses have interpreted, I can clearly see that the knowledge that we have was actually so much different. I could only act like a fish in a tank, opened my mouth but nothing came out. Those people are used to fieldwork and all kind of geology practical but different from me. During the fieldwork they could apply their knowledge probably up to 90% whereas I could only at maximum 70%. When I asked them why, they said that they are used to it because every year they have 10 weeks of field work and need to make reports. So total of the whole fieldwork from their undergraduate study is 30 weeks (3 years) excluding the final year project. But me during my undergraduate, the total field work was only 4 weeks. It's like kindergarten against university level. So much different. They look so much confident on each interpretation they made.

But so far, this fieldwork has truly improved my knowledge to a whole new level. From beginner to amateur geologist. I've improved my confident level and know how to differentiate structural geology aspects. Last time when I see a rock I would say

"Okay, this is a rock, it is very hard, there are cracks all over it. It has shiny things, probably diamond" Noob mode

Now it will be

"Okay, the bedding of the rock is striking northeast and dipping west 010/28, it is probably quartz mica schist, the shiny thing is mica and the mafic mineral is well foliated, probably due to deformation. There are several faults and show striation and dipping northwest. The riedel shear indicates the movement of the fault and there are also sigmoidal clasts, most likely a synistral, top to southeast" Amateur mode

During the 4th day of my fieldwork. I received a very pleasant news regarding the fieldwork. There was a change of plan. The fieldwork that is supposedly going for 40 days, has been reduced to probably 33 days. This is because I need to accompany a french guy to travel the whole peninsular Malaysia for more or less 2 weeks. I'll be like a tour guide for this guy. FYI this fellow is 2 meters tall while I am only 1.68 meters. It will look awful for me. Because people will see him as being accompanied by some sort of a short ugly creature. Besides, during this fieldwork, my skin tone has turned from "normal" to "you can't see me". It gets darker as the day passes. I'm already as black as I can be. This is probably the blackest skin tone that I have ever experienced so far as a geologist. I probably have reached 100% of my demonic true form.

These two European people are the people I'm going to work with in the next 20 days. The guy in dark green t-shirt is the 2 meters french guy and the one in squared-shirt is from Netherland (1.94m) which will be working with my co-worker in brown t-shirt. Both of us will go separate ways on the 15th and probably will meet up again on the 21th. I don't usually upload my picture, when I do, I look like ****.

So I will have a break for 2 days from 16th-17th and after that the journey is begun. The other 5 days have not been confirmed yet, but most probably will happen on the first week of April before I'm finally off to Sarawak. After this field work is over, I have probably a month before the next field work again to Sarawak for probably one week. In the mean time I will try to get married driving license, since I need to use a car to travel from one place to another for my master's fieldwork. I can drive but I don't have a license, I hope I can get one within a month.

I just had one the most terrible experience in the history of geological fieldwork. This had happened to me once in my second year and never thought would be repeated today (13th march). Yup, I've been food-poisoned. It was truly awful. I stayed in the van for the whole day because of this. My stomach was twitching(not sure about the word) so bad I could not even turn my body. But luckily because of the excellent medical treatment(drinking 100 plus)I have survived this and can carry on my life. But now my body is very weak because I've been going back and forth to the toilet for 8 times, I've lost so much liquid and can't even walk properly. The photo was taken after I had this thingy. My co-worker and the french guy also got the same thing, but theirs were not as bad as mine.

A few days back I chatted with an old friend, which I thought I was never gonna see or even talk again. I didn't even know how this fellow got my number, suddenly just said "hey" in wasapp. Nothing was serious about the talk. Just a normal conversation with some reminiscence about the past and it was awesome. This fellow is in the final year and then asked me what I'm doing now. So I said that I'm going to further my study. Then this fellow started compliment me saying that I'm smart and I can do anything, my future is bright, my life is perfect and all that kind of things, unlike herself. Well, I just said that I'm lucky and I was serious about this, but this fellow kept denying what I said so I just replied with "hahaha"(that was the best thing I could do to stop her). I seriously do not know how to handle compliment. The best thing I can do is only smile. Last time there was a moment after I performed in one occasion, I got off the stage and out from the hall, suddenly there was a chinese girl appeared infront of me said (I remember this clearly)

"Wow, you were very good up there(1). You are very handsome, you know?(2)"

After that she smiled and stood still infront of me. The first statement I could still handle. But the moment I heard the second one, I just stood, thinking back of what I just heard and looked at the girl like I was retarded. I have never expected such a thing to happen. Then there was quite a moment of silent and it was kinda awkward. She seemed to be waiting for my reply. I did not know what to do so I just smiled back and moved away from her to my friends(true story). Not sure what will be my reaction if it happens now. I'll probably start laughing and pinching my self to death, hoping that I'm just dreaming. This happened when I was in my third year of my University and still handsome, not like now. I'm not saying I do not appreciate them, but if they really see me and know the actual me, I do not deserve such compliment.

I can say that my life is not perfect and I'm not smart. Compare to my friends, I probably have the lowest mark and that's why I consider myself lucky that I can stand until today. I'm not good in scoring for high marks, as long as I have done my best that's enough, the world will somehow repay me in some kind of ways. I see people including my friends are afraid to get low marks, so what they did was copied from someone who has gotten high marks or even cheating. They do not really care they understand or not as long as they get high marks it is fine for them. Well I'm scared to get low marks, but if I have to choose, I truy prefer to get low marks but do it my self than the other way around. At least I know about the mistake I've made and try to improve next time.

I have failed so many times but I just keep going and do my best, even until today. I don't really consider my failures as points of where I should stop doing. It is the failure that can actually teach me the most important thing. It really drives me crazy everytime I fail on things that I have worked so hard. But then I tell myself that everything does not always go according to the plan so need to be patient and move forward. From 100 of my plans, there are probably less than 10 that truly came true. The rest just failed or simply haven't shown up any results. Simply do your best in everything and let the world decides the best for you. I have never thought I could travel now and meet great people, because my plan of traveling is supposed to be after I get a job, get a wife and settle my life. But now I'm already traveling, although not so far and not for traveling purposes, But still I am able to travel and see things I have never seen before and get paid eventhough not so much, but the experience that matters. Be flexible, don't stick in only one thing. Don't try to be someone, coz it wont always work. I might be not as lucky as those people who have traveled the world, participated in big events or have become superstars. But everything that has happened to me is actually more than enough, knowing that there are a lot of people who's having more problems and difficulties in life.

I've been taught to be fair in life, don't only focus on what you are doing, look around and see what can you do for others. Don't focus only on your friends, but focus more on your family. Coz it is actually the perfect turning back place for every problem you have. So no one has a perfect life but you can still perfect the life you have now. Don't forget to say Alhamdulillah.

Funny saying "Your dreams are like dandelion, beautiful, but gone as the wind blows them away"